Two for the price of one, kids!
First, The Snark was on a trip to the land of the great unwashed, today. Yes, I went to Wal Mart. I’d rather get a Brazilian Wax than go to Wally World. Too damn many people sharing too few brain cells, and, in all likelihood, the same toothbrush.
There are two doors at each end of Wal Mart. One door is clearly labeled “ENTER” and the other, “EXIT” (or “ENTRADA” Y “SALIDA” for my Spanish speaking friends).
So, what door do the great majority of the dregs of society choose? Exactly the opposite of the one that describes what they need to do. I made an older fella swear when I had the gall to exit through the door marked EXIT. I was in his way, and he wanted to enter, but he was too stupid to read EXIT and, instead, chose to make like a salmon and swim against the current.
It probably wasn’t really necessary for me to run into him with my shopping cart and then pretend that I was a schoolgirl from Paraguay. My attempt at humor went right over his head, and his leg and his spleen. He’ll probably be alright. Modern medicine is incredible.
Second, and this one is CHAP CENTRAL for the Snark Man, shopping cart return etiquette. Why do so many people think that it’s okay to leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot? Anyone who doesn’t feel like a total asshole, when doing so, really should. Because you ARE an asshole if you’re too lazy to take that damn cart the extra six or seven steps to put it in the cart corral.
Not only is there a better than average chance that your laziness could damage someone else’s property, there’s also the human decency factor. It says a whole lot about your character, or lack thereof, when you’re too much of a prima donna to take the time to do the right thing.
If I’m in the parking lot and see you doing the not-returning-the-cart thing, I’m probably gonna make a LOT of noise in pointing out your douchebaggery to anyone that will listen. If you cry and swear to never go anyplace that has shopping carts again, then my mission is completed. But, you better warn Grandma about me. I don’t discriminate based on age, sex (unless you’re doing it on my car), national origin or whether or not you have a damn Sam’s Club card.
You’ve been warned…………….
– Uncle Snarky –