Elmo Wampertinkle from Buttermilk, KS writes to The Snark:
“Dear Uncle Snarky, my friends say that you’re the figment of a fevered imagination. They swear you’re not real and that even if you were, you’d probably be some kind of pervert or something. I say you are real and that you’re undoubtedly some kind of pervert or something.
We have a question for you. How do we know when to capitalize the “E” in english? We slept through that class, but we all know it’s a country and that they speak american almost as good as we do.”
The Snark responds:
Dear Elmo, I see that my reputation has truly preceded me. I’m not a full-fledged pervert yet. I still have to pass the national boards.
Now, on to your question. There will NEVER be an instance when you will not capitalize the “E” in English. It is a proper noun and thus, will always be capitalized, even if you’re speaking of an English muffin.
P.S. Good luck with your geography class and that whole English is a country thing. You’re gonna need it, chucklehead.
Now, go forth and speak American goodly and always capitalize the “E” in English. Always.
Peace, Uncle Snarky